What to Say to A Friend After a Miscarriage: Words That Comfort a Hurting Heart
https://restofthenest.com/pages/about-me
"In the midst of heartbreak from multiple miscarriages I had the idea to make a necklace out of baby's breath to help me feel close to the babies we had lost. The idea took off and eventually turned into the Rest of the Nest, a company which that exists with the sole purpose to celebrate life and honor loss. Whether it is to hold a memory close, let someone know you care or are looking for a timeless keepsake, I hope you find it here at Rest of the Nest."
When someone you love is walking through a miscarriage it can be hard to know what to say, especially if you have never experienced one yourself. Providing miscarriage support is a kind and caring gesture, but tricky to navigate.
Here at Rest of the Nest, we are often asked by caring and concerned friends and family for suggestions on what to say in this tough time. Many choose to select a personalized miscarriage support gift, but are then left wondering what write on a card or gift note to a grieving loved one.
{"layoutMobile":2,"layoutDesktop":3,"buttonAlign":"Center","buttonText":"Shop Now","productTitle":{"hue":213.6,"saturation":0.7407,"brightness":0.5294,"alpha":1},"priceColor":{"hue":0,"saturation":1,"brightness":0},"discountPrice":{"hue":356,"saturation":0.74,"brightness":1},"buttonColor":{"hue":213.6,"saturation":0.7407,"brightness":0.5294,"alpha":1},"textBottomColor":{"hue":0,"saturation":0,"brightness":1},"activeTitleButton":true,"moreProduct":"View all","moreProductUrl":"https://restofthenest.com/collections/miscarriage-collection?source=whattosaywebsite","rowNumber":1,"dynamicProductId":[{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9410588115224","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Yellow Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"34.0","amountMin":"34.0","price":"34.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6627830914_jn5f.jpg?v=1746984890&width=600","urlStore":"/products/single-babys-breath-necklace-yellow-gold-circle"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9437401022744","title":"Engraved Sonogram Necklace | Circular Locket","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"50.0","amountMin":"50.0","price":"50.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6408078803_av6c.jpg?v=1746984884&width=600","urlStore":"/products/engraved-sonogram-necklace"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9652275577112","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | 14k Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"50.0","amountMin":"45.0","price":"45.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/IMG_5903-3.jpg?v=1746984856&width=600","urlStore":"/products/babys-breath-flower-necklace-14k-gold-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9691288109336","title":"Birth Month Flower Necklace | Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"32.0","amountMin":"32.0","price":"32.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6769217691_84a0_ae100351-4d7d-4618-adc0-dc88943f2dd6.jpg?v=1746984831&width=600","urlStore":"/products/birth-month-flower-necklace-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9387997626648","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Rose Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"37.0","amountMin":"37.0","price":"37.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/IMG_7068.jpg?v=1747546769&width=600","urlStore":"/products/babys-breath-flower-necklace-rose-gold-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9410455470360","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Sterling Silver Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"44.0","amountMin":"44.0","price":"44.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6627862112_jgx1.jpg?v=1746984895&width=600","urlStore":"/products/single-babys-breath-flower-necklace-sterling-silver-circle"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9410607972632","title":"Baby's Breath Keychain | Silver Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"24.0","amountMin":"24.0","price":"24.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/Baby_s_breath_flower_in_silver_keychain.jpg?v=1747557479&width=600","urlStore":"/products/babys-breath-keychain"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9636716314904","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Silver Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"34.0","amountMin":"34.0","price":"34.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/Silver_Baby_s_Breath_Flower_Pendant.jpg?v=1747547059&width=600","urlStore":"/products/single-babys-breath-necklace-silver-circle"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9444462493976","title":"Sesame seed necklace | 5 weeks gestational age miscarriage necklace","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"45.0","amountMin":"29.0","price":"29.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/sesame_seed_necklace.jpg?v=1746984874&width=600","urlStore":"/products/sesame-seed-necklace-5-weeks-gestational-age-miscarriage-necklacesesame"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9665656455448","title":"Pink, Blue or White Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"34.0","amountMin":"34.0","price":"34.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6097973626_3w6i.jpg?v=1746984840&width=600","urlStore":"/products/pink-blue-or-white-babys-breath-flower-necklace-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9648043196696","title":"Blue Forget Me Not Necklace | Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"31.0","amountMin":"31.0","price":"31.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.5854767501_k3u3.jpg?v=1746984856&width=600","urlStore":"/products/blue-forget-me-not-necklace-rose-gold-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9648007512344","title":"Blue Forget Me Not Necklace | Silver Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"31.0","amountMin":"31.0","price":"31.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6637042796_ircr.jpg?v=1746984856&width=600","urlStore":"/products/blue-forget-me-not-necklace-silver-circle-pendant"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9442878030104","title":"Raspberry 8-week Gestation Necklace | Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"29.0","amountMin":"29.0","price":"29.00","compareAtPrice":"29.00","imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6216900387_efp9.jpg?v=1746984873&width=600","urlStore":"/products/raspberry-pendant-necklace-yellow-gold"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9410613313816","title":"Blue Forget Me Not Necklace | Yellow Gold Circle Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"31.0","amountMin":"31.0","price":"31.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.5736865826_apt2.jpg?v=1746984884&width=600","urlStore":"/products/forget-me-not-necklace-in-yellow-gold-circle"},{"id":"gid://shopify/Product/9410550137112","title":"Baby's Breath Flower Necklace | Silver Heart Pendant","currencyCode":"USD","amountMax":"31.0","amountMin":"31.0","price":"31.00","compareAtPrice":null,"imagesUrl":"https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0852/3753/0904/files/il_fullxfull.6506584852_pvpi.jpg?v=1746984891&width=600","urlStore":"/products/babys-breath-flower-bud-necklace-in-a-sillver-stainless-steel-heart-pendant"}],"typeSearch":"collection","device":"desktop","decimalsPrice":2,"aspectRatio":"1 / 1","isAutoPlay":true,"isNavigation":false,"isPriceDisplay":false,"rowDynamic":"mot","activeDecimals":true,"positionPrice":false,"currencyCodeCustom":"$","activeDynamicProd":true,"componentId":"undefined","hidden":false,"locked":false,"blockName":"Product"}
In this article, we have compiled a list of 5 suggestions that we hope convey the delicate balance of love and support during such a difficult time.
1. “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.”
This may seem overly simple, but it isn’t. Many times a griever needs to know that their grief is acknowledged and that they have support as their grieve. Saying “I’m sorry” may not fix anything, but it tells them they’re not alone.
2. “You don’t have to talk, just know that I’m just here for you.”
Sometimes it can take time before they are ready to talk. But in the meantime, your presence matters more than words. Miscarriage support can come in many different forms, and no two experiences are alike. So make a point to reach out to them, whether it’s through a text, a keepsake, or keeping them company. Show up, even in the silence.
3. “Their life mattered. I will always remember and honor them with you.”
One of the biggest fears for grieving parents is that their baby will be forgotten. Make a point to say their child’s name out loud and mark their birthday in your calendar so that you can remember their child with them each year. This small act of miscarriage support can mean the world to grieving parents, even many years later. You can also consider starting a tradition of doing an act of kindness every year on their child’s birthday in honor of the child they lost. Whatever you do, find a way to help their child’s legacy live on.
4. “Can I…”
Instead of the vague sentiment of “Let me know if you need anything,” try something more tangible to provide miscarriage support. Some examples include:
- “Can I pick up your groceries?”
- “Would you like some company today?”
- “Can I drop you off a coffee?"
- "Can I run an errand for you?"
It’s okay if they say no—but asking shows love in action. And importantly, it gives them options to choose from, and lessens the cognitive burden or guilt of asking for help.
5. “Wrapping you in love at a time when words fall short.”
This common and very fitting quote by an unknown source provides just the right amount of comfort while also acknowledging the depth of their grief. Grievers don’t want their grief fixed; they want it acknowledged. Your words don't need to perfect, they just need to demonstrate that you care, and are trying to help during a trying time.
A Gentle Reminder About Miscarriage Support
Grief isn’t linear. It ebbs and flows. Your friend might seem “fine” one day and fall apart the next. Keep showing up. Keep loving them right where they are.
At Rest of the Nest, we believe every life matters, and every heart touched by loss deserves to be held with tenderness. If you’re looking for a way to gently support a grieving friend, a handmade keepsake can say, I see you. I remember with you. 💛
Explore meaningful gifts made to honor tiny lives and the families who miss them.
We also publish our articles on Medium. Read, like and share with your friends!
